Story of the Worst Kind, A
by RockSuperstar
Summary: There's a strange new girl in town, and she brings a whole lot of problems along with her. Rated K-plus because there's nothing in it to make it rated T. Warning: Contains much OOC-ness, stupidity, and unoriginal plotlines. Complete with "umwhat?" ending.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks in advance for reading and reviewing.**

**Warning: This story may contain stupidity, OOC-ness, and jokes that are meant to be funny.**

* * *

It was a normal day in the Grimm household. In other words, Sabrina woke up hating her life. Sabrina wished she were part of a normal family living in a normal house in a normal town, but her wish was not granted, because 'normal' and words such as 'Grimm' and 'Sabrina' didn't belong in the same sentence. When she went down the stairs to eat breakfast, the first thing Puck did was insult her. This was a typical occurence around this time of day, or any time of day, really.

"Hay ugly," he said, using the wrong variety of the word, "what's that on your face?"

She was not in the mood for his stupidity and had prepared a comeback for that exact comment, "Are you talking to yourself again? Because if you are, your not being very nice to yourself are you?" she said, acting as if she were concerned for his sanity and mistakenly using the wrong sort of 'your'.

Nobody seemed to notice their mistakes in speech and at that moment Granny Relda brought the food to the table.

"Ugh, what is that?" Sabrina asked, even though she was pretty sure that she didn't really want to know what it was.

Her grandmother smiled kindly and replied somewhat proudly, "I'm not entirely sure what it is, but it has a wide variety of strange colors doesn't it? It probably won't hurt you, go on and try it."

Of course, Puck and Daphne piled their plates high with the stuff. "This is great stuff, Granny!" Daphne said happily after eating some of it.

Jake, like Sabrina, didn't take any of it. He stared at it for a moment with a look of absolute horror on his face that clearly said he wasn't going to be eating any of that stuff. "Oh, I nearly forgot, I was going to meet someone today for breakfast." Sabrina knew that statement to be a lie, but she wasn't going to ruin his escape. She longed to be able to go with him, but that might seem a little suspicious. As he was leaving he looked back at her and mouthed "I'll bring you something." "Thank you," she mouthed back, making a small 'worship' motion. Luckily nobody else seemed to notice their exchange, as it would have only caused problems that the author does not want to deal with.

Later that morning, after Sabrina had eaten a few bites of normal food and everyone went about their usual Saturday morning activities, a loud _crash_ sounded from outside the house. Naturally, the first thing everyone did was run outside to see what happened. To the family's surprise, there was a large, crater-like hole in the ground. Lying at the bottom of the hole was a girl who looked to be about twelve years old.

"Oh, no, not another one," Jake said, his face growing slightly pale. He knew what horrors occurred every time something like this happened. He quickly made plans to be away from the house as much as possible for the forseeable future-as long as she was in the house, he wouldn't be. He quickly went inside to pack his belongings. Everyone aside from Daphne, Puck, and Sabrina followed him back inside the house, knowing that the plot demanded that they see nothing strange about finding a pre-teen girl in a crater.

Puck went over to the girl and poked her to check whether or not she was alive. Suddenly, the girl opened her strange macaroni-colored eyes, flashed to her feet, and immediately began violently swinging her fists at the fairy boy. She easily knocked Puck out, who had inexplicably forgotten how to fend off an attacker after having approximately four-thousand years of practice doing so.

"Um, what are you doing?" Sabrina asked, as if the girl had done nothing more strange than start dancing around in circles.

The girl suddenly seemed to gain control of herself and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, you startled me. I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

It was quite a lame excuse, but Sabrina felt an odd connection with the girl, so she found that it was very easy to forgive the girl from the pit in the ground. "It's okay. Who are you?" She felt that the question came out a little bluntly, but she reasoned that if people were going to turn up in craters they should be willing to explain themselves.

The girl grinned widely and spun tightly as she jumped into the air with a flourish that spread a glitter into the air around her. She then used the opportunity provided by the sparkle-watching to suddenly spread out her large green wings. "My name is Maria Susanna Butterflypoo."

"Wow, sparkly," Daphne and Sabrina said in awed and freakish unison.

Puck had gotten up by that time and couldn't help but laugh at the girl's silly name, at which she acted very offended, "You dare laugh at me, pheasant?"

Her response only made him laugh more, "First, I think the word you mean is _peasant_, not pheasant. Second, neither term applies to me. And third, yes I do dare to laugh at you. What kind of name is Butterflypoo?" Sabrina could only stare in surprise at his sudden burst of intelligent speech.

"It is a royal name," the girl insisted, beginning to sound defensive rather than angry.

Daphne knew that Puck was about to say something that would anger her further and had no desire for any further fighting to take place, so she cut off his response to that with one of her own. "Yes, of course it is," she said condescendingly, "Anyway, we were wondering why you were here."

"Oh," she said, sounding somewhat relieved at the change of subject, "I'm here to pretend to be a good friend to the Grimm family and secretly plot to turn you over to the Scarlet Hand after turning you all against each other." She paused for a moment, thinking over what she had said, "Wait, I wasn't supposed to say that. Let me start over." She started crying pitifully, "I w-was forced to run here, b-be-because the S-S-Sc-Scarlet Hand attacked my f-f-family and I barely escaped from them and I don't know where my parents are. It's very t-t-tragic and I d-don't know w-what to do now. I d-don't have anyw-w-where to go."

By the end of her story, the trio was fully convinced that the poor girl needed their help. They reached the decision that they would ask Granny Relda if she could stay with them for a while. Sabrina could already tell that she and Maria Susanna Butterflypoo would be great friends.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to those of you who reviewed the first chapter. Please review even if you completely hate this story.**

* * *

When Sabrina asked her grandmother if the girl they found outside in a pit could stay in the Grimm house, Relda was pleasantly surprised; a few days ago, or earlier the same morning for that matter, Sabrina would have strongly opposed having yet another Everafter living in their house. Relda decided that her granddaughter was definitely making progress on getting past her prejudice against the Everafters. She was so proud of her.

_Of course _she could stay as long as she wanted to.

When Jake was informed of this, he was not pleased, but he refrained from voicing his opinions on the matter. In the past it had only made the rest of the family angry with him, and he knew that this time was not likely to be any different. This time, he simply offered to let her sleep in his room.

"But, Jake, where will you sleep?" one of the family members asked.

"I'm going to stay in town for a few days or weeks, maybe longer," he replied.

"Uh, Jake," Daphne began questioningly, "town is five minutes away."

"She's right," Maria Susanna Butterflypoo spoke up, "you don't have to give up your room for me. I'm sure Sabrina wouldn't mind if I—"

Luckily, Jake was prepared for this. He used the cheesiest excuse he could manage under the circumstances, "Staying there means I'm five minutes closer to Briar. I'm glad to go."

Mr. Canis was almost sorry that he could not make a similar excuse, but he realized that it was probably a better idea if he stuck around to try and protect them from the newest lunatic that had been invited into the house. It had never worked before, but he did still feel that he should try. The trouble was that plotlines always seemed to make him useless. He considered just letting the Wolf eat the girl now while he was still allowed in the story instead of letting her cause trouble. The Wolf then reminded Mr. Canis that "you are what you eat" and he decided against eating Maria Susanna Butterflypoo.

* * *

The phone rang. Relda answered it and listened to the person on the other end for a few minutes. "Sure, I'll be right over," she told the caller. She hung up the phone. "Girls, Mr. Canis and I are going over to a friend's house to help them recover a stolen object so that we will be conveniently absent from the house."

"Do we have a mystery, Granny?" Daphne asked excitedly.

"I'm pretty sure I know what's going on, so we should get back soon. Will you all be alright for an hour or so?"

"Can I come anyway?" Daphne asked. "I want to figure it out too."

"Of course you can, Daphne," her grandmother replied, making things much easier for the author by leaving only three characters for which to write actions and speech.

"Sabrina, do you want to come too?"

Sabrina declined, partly because she wasn't in the mood for a pre-solved mystery and partly because being left behind meant she could make a normal dinner for herself, but mostly because if she left the house it would defeat the plot of the chapter.

The mystery-solving team headed out the door and to the car. The ancient car backfired loudly, as usual. They drove in the direction of the nameless friend's house, leaving a gigantic hole in the ozone layer as they did.

Maria Susanna heard the backfire. "Did something blow up?" she asked, her voice full of hope and excitement.

"No, it was just the car backfiring like it always does," Sabrina explained.

"Oh, good," Maria Susanna said in a voice that was so falsely cheery and so falsely full of relief that a deaf person would have heard the lack of sincerity in her words. Sabrina took this to mean that their car was amusing and that Maria Susanna was glad her family was not killed.

"Hey, I'm about to make dinner, do you want something to eat?" Sabrina asked her friend.

"Sounds good, I'm starving."

They walked into the kitchen. Sabrina got out a pot and put it on the lit stovetop with water to boil inside of it.

They stared at the pot. They stared at the water in the pot. The water was still just plain, non-boiling water in the pot. They stared at the flames under the pot. They stopped staring at them for fear of retinal damage. They reverted to staring at the pot and the water. They should have known better—a watched pot never boils.

The girls' stomachs rumbled in unison.

"This is taking forever!"

"Yeah."

Sabrina glared at the water, willing it to just hurry up and boil already. This didn't do anything to make the water boil. Maria Susanna noticed this and decided to take action. "Okay, no more waiting," she said determinedly.

Sabrina was about to protest that there wasn't an option but to wait unless they weren't going to eat dinner, but Maria Susanna held her hands toward the pot and sent a glowing, sparkly magic power at the pot. The water immediately came to a boil.

Needless to say, Sabrina was very impressed with this. "Ohmigosh! Maria Susanna, that is so awesome!"

"I know, right? Oh, by the way, call me Mary Sue, everyone else does."

Because of Mary Sue's seemingly unlimited magic powers, the rest of the dinner preparation was very speedy.

As was usual for him, Puck walked into the kitchen right as the food was ready. "Good, you made dinner," he said as he sat down at the table.

"Get your own, Puck," Sabrina said.

Puck hadn't really been expecting to have someone else serve him a plate already filled with food, but now that Sabrina had made that comment, he decided it might be a good idea and told Sabrina so. This was quite upsetting to Sabrina because she had meant for the boy to go make his own food, not that he was expected to serve himself.

"The only thing I'm going to serve you is a knuckle sandwich," she threatened.

Puck was about to respond to this but was interrupted by being handed a plate of food by Mary Sue. Instead of making a witty comeback to the knuckle sandwich comment, he just said, "at least someone knows how to treat a king."

Mary Sue rolled her eyes, but Puck didn't notice it because he was already too busy shoving food into his mouth. A short time into the meal, Sabrina and Puck realized that it was time to begin the hourly ritual trading of insults again which meant that by the end of dinner they were both thoroughly insulted.

The three pre-teens continued to sit at the dinner table. Mary Sue attempted to begin a normal conversation, but she failed because it was time for Sabrina and Puck to insult each other again. Mary Sue became quite bored with their behavior. At first it had been amusing to hear them, but after not too long they began to simply repeat the same phrases they had been using the previous hour, and then they started using terms that were more like random adjectives than insulting terms.

"Plaid-wearer!"

"Stinkpot!"

Luckily, this was when Relda, Daphne, and Mr. Canis returned. They had been gone a bit longer than they had originally anticipated because the mystery was not as pre-solved as they thought it was, and they had also decided that Mary Sue should be enrolled in Ferryport Landing Middle School along with Sabrina and Puck.

Minutes after their return, Sabrina was complaining about Puck's latest insult to Daphne. "Do you know what he said!" she cried, "He called me a plaid-wearer!"

Daphne hesitated. She examined Sabrina's shirt. There was no denying that it was indeed a plaid shirt. She bit her lip nervously, but determined that something had to be said, and then she looked into Sabrina's eyes and asked, "Sabrina, have you considered that it might be the truth?"

Sabrina looked as shocked as if her younger sister had slapped her. She looked around the room at the others, who seemed to be agreeing with Daphne's question with their silence. She screamed in frustration. "I hate you all! I'm going to bed—right now!" After this declaration she stomped up the stairs and went into her room where she could be free from the accusing eyes of her family and permanent house-guests.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Since I didn't get more than like fiftybillion reviews, I have decided that I shall not update unless i recieve one-hundred billion reviews on this chapter in order to make up for the lag in reviews. Is that really too much to ask? I mean, seriously, I feel sad sometimes because almost no-one reviews my story and it makes me consider fan-fiction-suicide, deletion, and other actions that are too drastic to name here.

* * *

When Sabrina woke up the next morning, the first thing she did was open her eyes, but after this dramatic beginning to her day, she leapt out of bed in what she told herself was a ninja-like manner, and she proudly noted that the loud _thud_ from when she landed would likely only wake up half of the house's inhabitants instead of all of them: she was getting sneakier by the day. She then ran over to her mirror. Miraculously, her hair was blonde, straight, and clean; her face was perfectly unmarred except for a few stray pimples, her pillow was filled with nothing but feathers, and there was nothing in the room that didn't belong there. Her eyes nearly watered with gratitude for this wonderful occurrence, and she smiled. Then she remembered that she was still angry with Puck for calling her a plaid-wearer at dinner the night before and assumed her usual surly expression.

With a little surge of excitement, she realized that she would be going to school today and that her new best friend, Mary Sue, would be going as well. She went to the closet that she shared with her sister, carefully avoided all of the plaid in the closet, and put on a little white t-shirt that she knew had been purchased from Wal-Mart—she wouldn't wear clothes from anywhere else. She realized upon closer examination of the shirt that it was Daphne's. _'Oh well,' _she thought, _'it looks great on me anyway.' _She then pulled on a pair of jeans that she could barely manage to zip up or button. Even though she was glad to notice this since she thought it meant that her hips had gotten bigger and made her appear more shapely, she was still scrawny, and the difficulty with putting on the pants was mostly due to the fact that they too belonged to Daphne. She ignored the fact that the jeans ended several inches above her ankles and put on a pair of platform flip-flops.

She then brushed her hair and went downstairs to consider eating breakfast. Mary Sue and Puck were already in the kitchen and seemed to be eating normal breakfast cereal, so she decided that it was worth eating and that she would eat twice as much as usual to make up for not eating breakfast for most of the previous week.

"Wow, Sabrina, you look gorgeous," Mary Sue said mockingly when Sabrina walked in.

"Thanks," she replied happily, having missed the blatant sarcasm Mary Sue had used.

When she noticed Puck staring at her with a strange expression on his face, she smirked to herself and thought, _'He can't keep his eyes off of me. It must be because I am so gorgeous. Wait, ew, why did I even think something like that? Puck is my future lover. Gross. He's cute. He needs to brush his teeth.'_

Daphne, who was still in her pajamas, came into the kitchen not much longer and instead of making a cheerful comment about how hungry she was as was generally expected to do, she glared at Sabrina and demanded that her jeans be returned to her. "I demand that you return my jeans this instant." Her speech was not natural for an eight-year-old girl, or most other people for that matter, and it did not have the desired effect.

Sabrina noticed that Puck looked somewhat disgusted. Not only had the too-small clothing made it more obvious that Sabrina was nothing but skin and bone, but he couldn't believe that Sabrina would stoop to stealing clothing from her sister, and he decided that he would talk with her about it later. He was also not happy about the fact that if she were going to wear things that were not hers that she didn't even have the sense to take clothes that actually fit her. Sabrina saw his expression and gathered that he was appalled at Daphne's demand that she return what she had taken.

Sabrina then replied, "No. They look better on me anyway."

Mary Sue couldn't help but laugh at Sabrina's delusion. Sabrina took the laugh to be a good response that reaffirmed how witty she was. She threw a grateful glance at Mary Sue for her encouragement, and she smirked once more as she turned back to her sister.

For a moment Daphne was inclined to begin plotting revenge for this trespass against her, but then she realized that Sabrina would be going to school looking like an idiot, and she let the argument drop before it really began.

A few minutes after Daphne came back to the kitchen after getting dressed, Relda came and told the children that it was time to go to school.

"We should totally fly to school, Granny," Sabrina said.

"Yeah, can we Granny?" Daphne asked excitedly.  
"That's a wonderful idea, girls," Relda said, seeming to forget that even though there were a lot of Everafters in Ferryport Landing, a significant portion of the population was human and wouldn't react well to seeing a bunch of children flying.

"Thanks. Bye Granny," Sabrina said as the children left the house to go to school.

"Sehen Sie alle späteren, Lieblinge," Relda called after them in Google-translated German, even though none of the children except for possibly Mary Sue would understand her, and most people on the Sisters Grimm fanfiction page, including the author, do not speak German.

While Puck carried Daphne to school, Mary Sue was carrying Sabrina. She was sorely tempted to drop the girl to what would have possibly been her death, but Sabrina was clinging to her too tightly and jabbering on about how wonderful flying was and how wonderful Mary Sue was for flying with her and how Puck had refused to fly with Sabrina anymore after she wouldn't stop singing "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift while they were in the air.

"I tried to tell him that it perfectly describes our relationship status, but he wouldn't listen, and now he won't fly with me anymore."

In a futile effort to make her stop going on about these things, Mary Sue politely asked Sabrina if she liked to sing, even though she would have liked to say something much less polite.

"Oh, yes, I absolutely love singing!" Sabrina exclaimed. She assumed that Mary Sue would like a sample of what her voice could to and began to attempt to sing a song from Wicked that perfectly described her current mood. "Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I, and, let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?, my tender heart tends to start to bleed…"

Mary Sue wished that she could plug her ears so that _they_ wouldn't start to bleed, and, in a burst of annoyance, she told Sabrina this. Sabrina laughed, believing her friend's cruel words to be a joke. Mary Sue maintained her sanity only through the comforting thought that she would set her plan in motion this very day, and she would not have to deal with such behavior for much longer.

* * *

A/N: The A/N up there is not to be taken seriously. (How many times have you seen ones that are serious that look just like that though?) Reviews are nice though. I think this chapter might have been a little over-the-top. It's likely to be even more ridiculous next chapter though.

Dear everyone who has reviewed and actually managed to stick with reading this fic,

Thank You.

Sincerely,

RockSuperstar

RE: xXxDarkChocolatexXx : You read my mind. That's coming up probably next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Sabrina: Finally this RockSuperstar person decided to update. She's late as usual.

Daphne: Maybe because you wouldn't tell her what to write. Of course, it's more likely due to the fact that she just doesn't update her stories whether she has ideas or not (not having ideas being the more likely). Or she's working on something else (which is actually true). Or…

Sabrina: Well, I don't want my life put out for people to read. That girl is a lunatic! Wait, was she just inserting comments into your reply?

Daphne: I wouldn't be surprised. That means they're reading us right now.

Puck: Who are you talking about?

Sabrina: At least we know that we're the ones that are really in control of this story, right?

Puck: What story? This isn't a story. This is real life. And if it were a story, it would be rated T because Sabrina and I would be in it; this is rated k plus, so it cannot be a story.

* * *

Soon after the trio plus their new friend landed in front of the school that morning, one of Sabrina's closest school friends walked over to greet them.

"Sabrina, hi!1! I haven't seen yu 4 lyke 3 days!1!11! I totally less than 3 ur outfit!1!" she exclaimed numerically as she hugged the blonde girl and caused numerically to become an adverb. Her beautiful appearance offset her questionable intelligence. She was abnormally curvy for a twelve-year-old girl, and she had long, thick, black hair that had natural bright blue streaks in it. She also had pointy ears and fangs as a result of being a vampire-wolf-elf-human. This strange and highly unlikely interbreeding had also given her well-hidden powerful magic powers that didn't do her any good.

"Hi Raven!" Sabrina responded happily. "I don't think you've met my new friend Mary Sue yet. Mary Sue, this is Raven. Raven, this is Mary Sue. Or should I have said that the other way around… anyway, now that you know each other we can all be friends! Let's go to class together!" With these words she began walking to the first class of the day. Puck and Daphne had gone several minutes before.

Mary Sue hung back a little bit and willed Raven to do so as well. She did.

"I know what you are," Mary Sue said to her in a threatening tone.

Raven was surprised. Not many people could recognize a vampire-wolf-elf-human on sight.

Mary Sue then continued, "And there's only room for one of us in this story, so if you know what's good for you, you'll get out of here."

This surprised Raven even more, but with the surprise came a growing hope. _There are _other_ vampire-wolf-elf-humans? That means I can find the rest of my kind and_—. She fell to the ground, lifeless, before Mary Sue set her on fire and scattered the ashes for good measure.

"I guess you didn't know what was good for you."

She quickly caught up to Sabrina before the girls' absence had been noticed.

As the two girls walked into the classroom, Sabrina noticed that Raven was no longer at her side. "Hey, where'd Raven go?"

_Darn, I hoped that she wouldn't notice. Here goes nothing. _"She said she had to go to the bathroom."

"Oh, ok. She had better hurry though, or she'll be late, and this teacher is mean."

"Detention, Miss Grimm," the teacher said, "and a second one for that comment."

"What was the first one for?" Sabrina asked.

"The dress code. You should know better than to wear your sister's clothes to school by now."

Puck rolled his eyes from his seat in the front of the classroom. The first minutes of class were wasted in this manner far too often for his liking.

"Can you believe she gave me detention?" Sabrina asked him as she passed by on her way to a seat that would give her a good vantage point for looking at him instead of the board or the teacher.

He shrugged vaguely, knowing that she would take it as an expression of sympathy.

Once the two girls were in their seats, the teacher began taking attendance. Naturally, the entire class began many loudly whispered conversations.

"So, he's actually really hot," Mary Sue said to Sabrina.

She intuitively knew that her new friend was talking about Puck. "You're just noticing that? He's like six foot six with golden blonde hair that's messed up in just the perfect way and either blue or green eyes depending on what I prefer at the moment. He also smells really good, kind of like pine trees."

"Not to mention the biceps," Mary Sue added in sarcastically. There was no way Sabrina was talking about Puck. The boy was twelve. Well, he was technically thousands of years old, but he was twelve.

"And the abs. You don't want to forget those," Sabrina said.

"Have you thought about dating him?"

"Gross, this is Puck we're talking about."

"So, you wouldn't mind if I did, right?" she could hardly believe she was asking such a question; not only was the boy her inferior in every way, but if she actually wanted him—or anyone else for that matter—she would have him without asking permission from a human; however, it was for the greater good.

"Don't you dare even look at him again, he's mine," Sabrina said through clenched teeth.

The words _inconsistent behavior _ran through Mary Sue's mind. "Ok, ok." This was going to work out even better than she had expected.

Sabrina cheered considerably and asked, "So, do you want to go to detention with me after school? I've already got two tickets."

Mary Sue put on a false grin. "Sure, that sounds like fun. Let's meet after school in a deserted hallway, and we can walk over here together."

"Ok!" she happily agreed.

At lunchtime, the four children sat together at their usual table.

"Gosh, Raven sure is taking a long time in the bathroom. I'm going to go see if she's ok," Sabrina said upon noticing that her old best friend had not come to any classes that day. She got up and went to check the restroom for the missing wolf-vampire-elf-human.

A minute later Mary Sue asked Puck if she could talk to him out in the hallway. He agreed, curiosity about what she could possibly have to say to him that she couldn't say in front of Daphne getting the better of him.

Mary Sue made small talk about the school day so far until the opportune moment; she knew Sabrina was just about to walk around the corner back to the cafeteria. She took a step closer to Puck. The other girl was going to be furious. Puck looked somewhat uncomfortable and backed up, running his back into a locker. Mary Sue leaned in then suddenly recoiled from him.

What was that awful stench? It was like he hadn't taken a shower in weeks and had rolled in mud every chance he got. Even the greater good was not worth puking up her guts.

Then she remembered. She had magic! She froze time, hid behind something that conveniently allowed her to see what was going on but not be seen, quickly created a magical puppet double of herself to take her place in front of Puck, and then started things running as they were before.

Just as Sabrina rounded the corner, the false Mary Sue planted her lips on Puck's. The boy was so surprised that he didn't do anything for a moment, but he was too late to do anything about what Sabrina had seen.

"Mary Sue, how could you?"

"Get away from me, weirdo! Ow!" Puck tried to jump back from the girl but wound up bumping his head against the locker. "Now I have to wash my face and brush my teeth to get rid of your nasty cooties. I'm going to have nightmares for weeks!"

Sabrina completely ignored this speech and turned on him. "I can't believe you would stoop that low, Puck. I thought you liked me, but I see I was wrong about you. It's over."

Needless to say, Puck was extremely confused. Girls did not make sense.

* * *

A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews!

Sometimes I worry that I've gone overboard with this. And then I remember that that was my intention. Hopefully you can continue to find it amusing to read.

On another note... I recently read a story that shared multiple plot-points with this one. Except that they were dead-serious. Then I had my brother read it and he said, "This reminds me of your poop-head [butterflypoo] story or whatever it was that you wrote." Good times.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Alas, my friends, it is time to end this story. Your mileage may vary on the humor of this chapter. Oh, and the Master isn't necessarily Mirror in this. His identity is unknown, as it was when I first published this story a few years ago.

* * *

Puck took Daphne home at the end of the school day despite Sabrina's pleas that they get detention and keep her company with Mary Sue. By that time in the day, she had completely forgiven Puck for his two-timing behavior at lunchtime with Mary Sue.

"Detention is for losers," Daphne commented.

"It's not for losers!" Sabrina called after her sister as Puck flew away with her in his arms. "Detention is really fun! And it's for cool people!"

Neither Puck nor Daphne responded to this.

"Drat," Sabrina muttered. Now she had to go find Mary Sue by herself. The new girl had been in all of Sabrina's classes except for the two that took place after lunch, and the girls had arranged to meet in an abandoned hallway before going to detention.

Sabrina wandered the hallways of the school, looking for Mary Sue. The trouble was that _all _of the hallways were abandoned.

For the first time since meeting Maria Susanna Butterflypoo, Sabrina had a logical series of thought. Where was everyone? School ended just five minutes ago. Shouldn't there be people lingering? She began to feel a creeping fear. What if—_clunk!_ Her thoughts were interrupted by a blow to the back of her head, and she fell to the floor, unconscious.

Mary Sue became visible as she stood over the girl she had so cruelly used. "I knew you were challenged, but I didn't think you'd actually fall for that," she said to the unconscious girl. She almost pitied her. Almost. Sabrina Grimm didn't seem like much of a threat, but orders were orders, and the Master was not a forgiving person. Sabrina mumbled something about detention being fashionable, and Mary Sue quickly shook off her character development. She picked the girl up and used previously unknown teleportation skills to bring her to the Master.

"Ah, Maria," the Master said when she appeared before him, "back already?"

"I brought the older girl," she replied, putting the unconscious Sabrina on the floor between them.

He couldn't hide the fact that he was a little bit annoyed. "I said to bring _**all**_ of them."

She cowered slightly. "They'll come for her, hopefully."

"True." He quickly got over his annoyance. "So, how did you do it? The old fire-extinguisher-over-the-head-in-an-abandoned-school-hallway trick?"

"Worked like a charm," Mary Sue answered cheerily.

The Master nodded sagely. "It always does."

Sabrina groaned and began to stir, much to the displeasure of the Master.

"Don't let her wake up in here! She has to wake up in a dimly-lit room with rough, wooden floorboards!"

Mary Sue began to question this, but the Master interrupted her query. "This is not the proper setting," he said, emphasizing each word.

She tried to recall a moment when the setting had been described, but she couldn't think of one. "It's not too late," she said quickly. Mary Sue examined the room where the Master had waited for her more closely. Sure enough, it was dimly-lit and had rough, wooden floorboards.

"That was brilliant," the Master praised her.

Mary Sue blushed slightly, "I try. Might I suggest stepping into the darkness so that we can emerge with dramatic effect?"

"Excellent, Maria."

Sabrina opened her eyes and let out a groan of pain. Her head was throbbing. She put a hand to the back of her head and felt what was almost certainly going to be a bruise later. "Where am I?" she asked, not really expecting a reply. She looked around and found that she was in a dimly-lit room with rough, wooden flooring.

For some reason, she found this situation horribly familiar, but she couldn't remember why.

She pushed herself to her feet and slowly turned in a circle to see if she would spot anything that would help her. Nothing. "WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?" she shouted in caps lock volume.

"No one can hear you, Sabrina," Mary Sue said as she emerged from the darkness.

Sabrina gasped. "Mary Sue! Don't tell me they got you too!"

"You just don't get it, do you?" she said. "Let's try that again, shall we, Sabrina?" She stepped back into the concealing darkness.

A thought hit Sabrina like a lightning bolt. That was the reveal of the betrayal! "NOOOO!" she shrieked angrily.

"No one can hear you, Sabrina," Mary Sue said as she emerged from the darkness once again.

"Why are you doing this?"

"the Master promised me that I could—" Mary Sue began to explain her reasons for joining the Scarlet Hand, only to be interrupted by Sabrina, who had a seemingly clever insight at that point.

"Puck doesn't want you, Moth!"

The girl was taken-aback. "Moth? Moth! My. Name. Is. Maria. Susanna. Butterflypoo. And I will NOT be compared to _**HER**_!" She had never been angrier than she was at that moment. In fact, she was so boiling mad that she burst into flames. And melted. Dramatically.

Sabrina stood, stunned, for a moment. When she saw that Mary Sue was not really her friend, she was so sure that the whole thing had been a charade. Oh well. She turned to find the door to the room, but a voice stopped her in her tracks.

"That's a pity. She was a good servant, you know."

It was the Master.

"You're insane!" Sabrina shouted at him.

"There's no need to yell," he admonished calmly. He then began what would be his downfall. "After your family and that stupid fairy-boy come to rescue you, I will kill them, and then I will kill you, and then I will kill your friends, and then I will kill a lot of humans, and then I will kill the author, and then I will rule the world, and then I will hunt down your dog, and I will kill him."

Sabrina recoiled in horror. "Not Elvis!"

The Master smirked evilly. "Yes, Elvis."

Suddenly, one of the walls of the room crashed inward. A blurry figure collided with the Master, who was sent flying into the opposite wall.

Sabrina let out a gasp of excitement. "Puck!"

It was indeed Puck. "No one threatens Elvis," he said seriously.

"Oh, Puck, I'm so glad you're here!"

"Let's go home, Grimm," he said, leaving the Master lying out cold next to the wall.

"Okay!" she agreed.

"Grimm?"

"What!"

"You don't need the exclamation marks, you know," he said kindly.

Her heart rose. Unless she was quite mistaken, he had just told her that he thought that her voice was beauteous.

And they lived happily ever after.


End file.
